Before DJ Kahled became our nation’s hero, he worked a real life CHRISTMAS MIRACLE in my life. Gather round bb’s, listen closely. The miracle took place 6 Christmases ago in a place called West Hollywood. I can still hear the Mariah Carey holiday albums coming from all the homes like it was yesterday. I was enjoying a bubble bath with a book called “There are no accidents.” The book basically said that every moment is filled with billions of perfectly orchestrated coincidences that hold the secrets of reality. YAY. Just as I’m really enjoying myself, wondering what my purple nail polish signifies etc., a little rolled up note fell from the middle of the book. Naturally I was like “wtf” and unrolled it, thinking it would contain the key to existence. Instead it simply said… “Boys Lie” -DJ KAHLED
I was like “my boyfriend is LYING TO ME, THIS IS A SIGN,” and jumped out of the bathtub and stormed downstairs (you could slip and fall, don’t try this.) Blah blah blah, I acted insane, but he ACTUALLY was lying so it turned out all good, and I moved out the next day. From that point on I experienced a series of the most INSANE coincidences that are for another story time. In conclusion, I don’t know who wrote the note, but I like to imagine it was Sir Lord DJ Kahled in a little elf costume teaching me some valuable lessons about the molecular structure of mental reality.